Not a dream
by Grendle1853
Summary: Batman wakes to the scene of any man's dream. But it is not, especially not for him. Reviews always welcome.
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing, please don't sue me. Something I started just in fun.

Batman opens his eyes to find himself, in his boxers, lying on his bed. Standing in his bedroom is Catwoman, Black Canary, Wonder Woman, and Zatanna. To most this would appear as the start of a very good dream. Batman knows better. He knows the difference between reality and dreams (something which has saved his life several times), and he knows that he is awake.

When he attempts to stand, he finds that his hands are cuffed to the headboard. He takes a deep breath, takes hold of as much of the chains as he can, and rips the cuffs out of the wood. The four women turn to the sound and notice that he's awake. He calmly stands, looks at each of them and asks, "What in the hell is going on here?"

Each of the girls shrug. "We all arrived here a few minutes ago," Diana explains, "while you were asleep we all compared notes. I was in the monitor womb when suddenly I appeared here."

"I just dropped off a couple of thugs at a police station," Dinah says.

"I had just finished one of my shows," Zatanna pipes in.

"Well I was about to nab me a nice piece of jewelry," Selina says as she looks Bruce up and down, "By the way Batman, you have kept yourself in good shape," she adds. Wonder Woman rolls her eyes, but Zatanna and Black Canary nod their heads in agreement.

Batman tries to open his dresser, but finds that the drawer is stuck closed. He gives it a few hard pulls before letting it go and rubbing his eyes in frustration. "What were you doing Bruce?" Diana asks him.

"The last thing I remember is laying down in bed to sleep," he answers.

"You sleep," Black Canary asks sarcastically.

"Every once and a while. Usually after extreme exhaustion," Wonder Woman answers.

"Or sex," Zatanna says, getting a glance from everyone.

"With him, sex usually leads to extreme physical exhaustion," Catwoman finishes.

Batman walks to the door and attempts to open it, but finds it stuck. "Already tried that," Black Canary tells him.

He then pulls back his arm and throws all his power into a punch (the force of which would make most metahumans wince) that thuds unsuccessfully off of the wood. "And I tried that," Wonder Woman states.

Batman sits at the edge of his bed and rubs the bridge of his nose, "Okay. Zatanna?" he asks.

She sighs, "Sorry Bruce, my powers don't seem to be working right now," she answers.

"I'm not surprised by that, still do you think this could be magic related?" he asks.

She thinks on that. Then she winces, "Yeah actually, now that I think about it, I do," she says, "Usually this sort of spell is cast in order to force people to compromise. In this case though I think someone is trying to thank you?"

"Thank me? How?" Batman asks. A split second later he gets it. Canary rolls her eyes, Zatanna looks embarrassed, and Selina just starts laughing.

Wonder Woman however just looks about the group with a confused look on her face, "I don't get it. How is this a way of thanking him?" she asks.

"Wow princess, you really are innocent aren't you," Catwoman chuckles, "Someone is trying to get the big bad Bat, laid!"

_If you like, review. TBC._


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the wait. Here's chapter 2!

Batman sits down on the edge of his bed, "How long Zatanna?" he asks.

"Unless it was casted by a deity, we're talking about a week," she answers, "or until you get lucky."

"A week? I'm not staying in the Batman's bedroom for a week. I have a reputation, and a boyfriend. One of you, jump his bones!" Canary demands.

"Alright ladies, if you would please excuse us, me and Bruce have a lot of catching up to do," Catwoman purrs as she slinks up to him.

"What makes you think you'll be the one?" Wonder Woman asks, stepping between the two.

Selina chuckles, "Okay your highness, let me break this down for you. Number one, he and I are exes, which mean that it would not be...out of line. Zatanna and him are as well, but they work together so that would be unprofessional. That leaves you and Canary, one of which is taken and the other is just 'a good friend'," she answers.

Diana crosses her arms over her chest, "I may not be an ex, but I'm not just a 'good friend' either. I'm current!" she tells her.

"Really? You two finally got together?!" Zatanna excitedly asks.

"Yeah, a week ago!" Wonder Woman tells her, "We decided to keep it low key to the League for now though."

"Fine then, you do it," Selina says, very snippy.

Diana blushes at this, and turns away. "Look Diana, I can understand if you wanted to take this slow, but in our currant situation...," Canary says.

"Its not that. Its just right now is...a bad time. For me," she says.

"A bad time?" Catwoman asks.

"Of the month," Diana answers. All four of the women nod their heads in understanding.

"Okay," Selina begins, "that leaves us with two choices, me or Zatanna, and..."

"I would want Zatanna," Diana cuts her off.

"What? Why me?" Zatanna asks, "What, you don't think I'm good enough to be a danger to your relationship?"

"No, thats not why," Wonder Woman answers, smiling suggestively, "I like you."

Zatanna's eyes open wide at that and she replies, "Oh. I guess some of those rumors about you..."

"I'm. Not have sex with. ANY OF YOU!" Batman shouts, cutting her off, "I'm not going to give in to this sick little scheme. I'm going to figure some way out of this spell, and when I do, whoever cast it is going to pay!" With that he throws himself to his feet, marches into the bathroom, and slams shut the door.

"Wow. Whoever set this up has a point," says Black Canary. The three other women turn to her, "that man really does need to get some."

_TBC. Reviews always appreciated. Also, I'll take suggestions._


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to all of you who reviewed! Here's chapter 3!

Diana knocks on the bathroom door, "Bruce?" she asks.

"Come in," he answers.

She walks in to find him laying down in the empty bathtub, rubbing his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "You okay?" she asks.

"Yes. I'm just trying to think," he tells her.

She takes a seat on the edge of the tub and asks, "Having any luck?"

"No. I can't think of anyone who would wish to 'thank' me like this and have the magical prowess to do so, nor can I come up with an alternate way out of the spell," he admits.

Diana thinks for a second, "What about the Demon?" she asks.

Batman shakes his head, "If Etrigan was inclined to do something like this, he probably would have had the four of you naked and chained to the bed. I know it isn't Ra's either, he would have cast the spell to just leave his daughter and I alone," he answers.

She takes all that in, and can't find any fault in his logic. She looks down onto his face and makes eye contact with him, "What are you going to do now?" she asks.

He sighs, "You and I can't fulfill the spell, because of medical reasons," her cheeks turn red at his mention of 'medical reasons', "and Black Canary is in a relationship. So I'm left with either turning the friendship between Zatanna and I painfully awkward, or possible breaking Selina's heart," he answers.

"Break her heart? She seems real eager to get a piece of you," Diana says.

"She loves me Diana, and I don't use those words lightly," he tells her flatly.

There is a stretch of silence between the two of them, "Do you love her Bruce?" Wonder Woman finally asks.

"Yes, part of me always will. I even think that we are soul mates. That might even be why we'll never work. She's as attached to her freedom as I am to my mission, and neither of us could set them aside for the other. It hurt a lot when she left me, but that doesn't mean I want to hurt her back," he answered.

"Like repels I guess," she replies with a smile on her face, "I like Zatanna, I wouldn't mind if you had to spend the night with her, under different circumstances I would want to join the two of you. I don't like Catwoman, she annoys me, however I'd understand if you chose to use her to get us out of this. Either way, you have some time to make up your mind, just don't forget who gets you when all this is over," she leans down and plants a deep kiss on the Dark Knight. Then she smiles, "Then again, if you wait too long, Canary might just get fed up and jump your bones herself."

Batman laughs at that, "Great, I'd love to try and explain that to Green Arrow."

The two are taken out of their moment by a knock at the door, "Come in," Batman answers, getting out of the tub.

The door opens and Black Canary peeks inside, "We're all bored and nothing is showing up on your tv but Porn," she says.

"Wow, it has been a while for you hasn't it?" Wonder Woman asks sarcastically.

"Its the spell, Diana," he tells her in his usual irritated growl.

"Yeah whatever, do you have something else to help pass the time?" Dinah asks.

The detective thinks for a few seconds, "See if the nightstand on the left side of my bed opens up," he tells her.

As Canary leaves to check, Diana turns to Batman and asks, "What do you keep in there?"

"Deck of Cards," he answers.

_TBC. Reviews are always welcome, as are suggestions. I consider requests!_


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you guys gave me some good ideas, so hears the next chapter!

Luckily the Batman kept a gigantic four post bed in his room, because all of the occupants are now sitting Indian style on his sheets, playing cards.

"Okay, were all adults here, why are we playing 'Go Fish'?" Catwoman asks.

"Because if we were to play strip poker, Batman would be at a great disadvantage," Canary answers her.

"Any fours?" Batman asks.

Zatanna throws out him the card in frustration, "Disadvantage? I bet we'd all be naked, and he would still be sitting safe in his boxers with a pile of clothes behind him. How do you manage to always know exactly what we all have in our hands?" she asks.

"I cheat," he monotones.

"This has to be the first time anyone has played 'Go Fish', with pornographic playing cards," Diana says.

"You never been through Arkham it seems," Catwoman says, "Any sevens?"

"Go fish," Batman tells her, "You know for naughty playing cards, these are very well made."

"Photographs of naked women with the number and suits tattooed on them, does give them an air of art," Zatanna says.

"Wonder what the face cards look like?" Canary asks.

"The king seems to be a dark haired, women holding a sword, with a K and a suit tattooed on her breasts," Wonder Woman answers.

"Any Kings?" Canary asks her.

Wonder Woman rolls her eyes and tosses her the card, "Guess I walked into that," she says.

"Sorry, but I have to play dirty if I have any chance of beating the Dark Knight," Canary apologizes.

Catwoman seems to get lost in one of the cards, "You know what these remind me of? Your painting Bruce."

A dead silence falls over the room, and all eyes turn to Batman. The Dark Knight has never stared so intently on photos of naked women. Diana smiles, "I didn't know you paint Bruce," she says.

"Oh he paints on a very rare medium. Me," Catwoman says. Diana's smile immediately vanishes.

"He paints, on you?" Zatanna asks in confusion.

"Your not telling us anything gross are you Selina, because if you are, I'd rather not know," Canary says, thinking of several unpleasant possibilities.

Diana just narrows her eyes. _Here we go, _Batman thinks to himself.

"You see once upon a time, the Dark Knight was trying to learn how to paint. Unfortunately all of his works of art were complete crap. Well I started to get ticked off at his new past time, because we had little enough time to spend together as it was without a silly little hobby stealing some of it away. So one day as he looked at his newest failure I asked, 'Why don't you stop with this crap and spend some time with me!' Well he didn't quit, but he did spend some more time with me," Selina laughs at the memory, "He would take me, topless, into his study and lay me down on some cushions on the floor. Then he'd straddle me, take several colors of body paint and some brushes, and paint on my chest! It was such fun, because we would talk about all kinds of things while he worked, entertainment, politics, you name it. And unlike all his other works, these were actually really good! In order to save them he would have to take photos of his work when he was done, we messed them up soon after, didn't we?" she asks. She thinks for a second then asks, "Say Batman, do you still keep those photos?"

Every set of eyes in the room were now locked squarely on him. The Batman, still only wearing a pair of boxers, is trying very hard to imitate a statue. _I can handle this_, he tells himself. _I am vengeance, I am the __**night**__, I... am totally screwed. _He rearranges the few cards in his hand, then answers, "Yes," in as flat a voice as possible.

"What!" Diana shouts. Catwoman grins.

"Brave man," Canary whispers to Zatanna.

"Brave dead man," she whispers back.

"Why would you keep them?!" Diana demands.

"They are... special to me," Batman answers.

"Special? Just because they have your ex girlfriend naked in them?" she asks.

"She isn't naked. And no!" he answers back.

"Then why?" she asks again.

"Because they are of the woman he loves," Catwoman answers.

_I will find who has done this to me, and then I will beat them to death with their own severed limbs! _Batman thinks to himself.

Diana slowly turns her head to stare deep into Selina's green eyes, "Really?" she asks in a dangerous tone.

Catwoman smiles, "My dear, I really don't have a problem with you, but you and him are just a temporary fling. Sure me and him have our problems, but in the end Bruce and I are destined to be together. I think you know that, and that is why you would rather have him break the spell with Zatanna then with me," she explains.

"You really think that if he breaks the spell with you, that he'll leave me, don't you?" Wonder Woman asks.

Catwoman crosses her arms over her chest, "Yes I certainly do," she answers.

Wonder Woman smiles, "Your on."

_TBC. Reviews always welcome. Sorry to leave you with such an agonizing cliffhanger!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for anyone who reviewed and didn't get a response, I was fighting with my email, but everything should be fixed now. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, and here's chapter 5!_

"What?" Batman asks.

"I'll take Zatanna and Canary into the bathroom so you two can have some privacy," Diana continues.

"What?!" he shouts.

Wonder Woman turns to him, "You are going to break the spell, and you are going to use Catwoman to do it," she explains.

"What makes you think I'm going to go along with this?" he asks.

"As if you don't want to," Catwoman says.

"The spell has to be broken, and Selina has to be put in her place, so think of this as killing two cats with one stone," Diana tells him.

"We can find another way to break this spell," he says.

"This way seems perfect for me," Selina purrs.

"For me as well," Diana retorts.

"Well it isn't perfect for me, so I'm not going through with this!" Batman firmly states.

"What makes you think you have any other options?" Diana asks coyly.

"Because I'm the God Damn **BATMAN!**" he roars.

His voice makes Zatanna and Black Canary recoil and sends a shiver down Catwoman's spine, but Wonder Woman easily steps forward and places a loving hand on the side of his face, "This will change nothing. I have complete faith in us, and I know you'll come to me. Give this kitty the night of her life, then meet me on the Watchtower," with that said, she guides Zatanna and Dinah into the bathroom, and shuts the door.

"Looks like its just you and me handsome," Selina says, calling his attention from the bathroom door.

Batman looks into her green eyes, "You really think I can, preform under these circumstances?" he asks her. In response, Selina unzips her suit and seductively begins to slink out of it. _Well that bluff went well,_ he thinks to himself, "_Gulp."_

The three girls sit in the bathroom, hearing only the massive movements of the bed and the caterwaul of the woman being ravaged on top of them. "Yeah, this isn't awkward at all," Zatanna says from her seat on the toilet.

"That is one strong bed," Canary intone from her position on the edge of the tub. She looks over at Wonder Woman and asks, "You sure your okay with this? Your boyfriend is having sex with his ex on the other side of that door."

"I can see that," Diana says. She is on her knees with the door open a crack, looking in on the two, "However I consider this a preview of upcoming attractions," she hums in surprise, "Looks like Selina's natural hair color is blond."

The three hear a loud male grunt, and one last feline scream, before they are magicked away.

The two lovers lay in each others arms for quite some time, just enjoying the afterglow. Then Selina looks deep into his eyes and asks, "Your not leaving her are you?"

The Batman gently presses his lips to hers before answering, "No I'm not."

Selina smiles then snuggles deeper into his embrace, "What happened to us Bruce?" she asks.

He sighs, "You couldn't give up your freedom, and I couldn't give up my mission. Not even for each other, its just who we are," he answers.

"Your mission won't stop you and Diana?" she asks.

"Maybe, maybe not, I'm willing to find out," he tells her.

She kisses him on the cheek, "If things don't work out with her, I'll always be there. And even if things do work out with her," she slowly licks a from his chin, over his lips, up to between his eyes, "I'll always be there." With that said, she steps out of the bed, throws her costume over her shoulder and strides nude out of his room. He shakes his head and goes for a shower.

After he's clean, he decides to head to the cave. At the bottom of the stairs to the ground floor, he finds Dick Grayson staring at him with a disapproving glare. "Something wrong Dick?" Bruce asks.

"Yeah as a matter of fact there is. Unless I'm seeing things, I saw Catwoman walk out of your bedroom, NAKED!" he accuses.

"So," Batman asks, smiling.

"So?! I thought you and Diana had finally gotten together! I can't believe you would do something like this!" he shouts.

Batman shrugs, "When the Amazon Princes is your girlfriend, and she tells you to have sex with your beautiful ex-girlfriend, well what else are you supposed to do?" he asks.

Dick stands slack-jawed for a moment as feelings of pride, envy, and shame fight each other within him. Finally he recovers enough to retort, "W...well, um, any other girls you planning to add to the harem?"

The Batman mulls this question over a bit before he responds, "Barbra has been looking very nice in that new costume of hers..." That being said he walks away, leaving an awestruck Nightwing behind him. _Inspiring Fear, _he thinks to himself, _best part of the job._

_TBC, hope you guys are liking this. As always, please review!_


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all the reviews! Heres the final chapter.

Diana stands in her room, looking out the window at the stars and the planet outside, and she wouldn't have heard him approach if not for the sound of the door. She easily turns away from the view to gaze at the man she loves, draped in the black of the night he personified. Something was different now though. His face, usually a mask of calm righteous indifference when in uniform, now was heavily strained by guilt. "I'm so sorry Diana," he tells her sincerely. The great princess of the Amazons can't take it. She falls to her knees... in hysterical laughter.

The Batman simply stares at her, his guilt quickly draining away to annoyance. Finally he can take it no more, "What the **Hell** are you laughing about!" he demands.

"'I'm so sorry Diana'," she mimics, "I told you to do it, you dope!" she tells him before falling into laughter again. He turns to leave, but she leaps up and grabs hold of him before he does, "Bruce, wait, wait. I'm sorry okay? I know this was hard for you. Despite your reputation, you are very monogamous, and that whole affair must have been very hard. So must have been enjoying it," she tells him. Batman rolls his eyes, and Wonder Woman kisses him deeply. When their lips part, she continues, "I meant what I said, this changes nothing. I have the utmost faith in you, and I know that you will never betray me." The two hug, and Bruce relaxes, or as close to relax as he can manage while he's the Batman. "Do you know who casted it?" she asks.

The Batman thinks for a moment. Scattered bits of knowledge link together to form a theory, "I have an idea," he tells her.

"Good. Go settle things. Oh and by the way...," she grabs hold of him between the legs, "I peeked in on you two. You put on quite a show. I expect nothing less from you when our time comes," she squeezes gently, "So rest up, because I'll be much harder to please then she ever was," she lets him know.

Later that evening, Zatanna returns to her room, worn out by a recent mission. Before she begins to undress, a shadow separates itself from its fellows and moves to stand before her, "Bruce! What the Hell, you scarred me have to death!" she shouts at him.

"Why?" he asks menacingly.

Zatanna turns a shade paler, but manage to ask, "Why? Why what?"

"Why did you cast the spell? The spell that trapped us in my bedroom?" he clarifies.

"What on Earth makes you think I had anything to do with that?" she asks.

"That took me awhile," he answers, "I started by trying to find a link between all four of the women magicked into my room. I've only been in a relationship with three of you, and had only had sexual relations with two."

"Green Arrow will be happy to hear that," she remarks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Then I get it, all four of you know my identity. Whoever cast the spell was careful to pick only women who knew my true identity, so as not to risk my secret. Almost everyone has heard rumors about me and Catwoman, as well as me and Wonder Woman. Also, our past relationship is no real secret. But Canary, few would know that she is in the know as well. She is smart to keep information like that to herself, and we don't spend much time together, so most would not suspect. I doubt if she would even tell Arrow my identity. So the only one that would know, would be the person who was on the mission with us when she found out. You." The Batman focuses his eyeless glare on the spell caster a second, before turning away. "Probably. I can't say with utmost certainly that she would not have told someone else in the League my secret. As I said we don't spend much time together and no one is perfect. That however got me thinking about the incident itself. You knew exactly what type of spell it was, without use of your powers or much information to go on. Again, not damning, because you are a master sorceress."

"Um...thanks?" she replies.

"That, however, brought my attention to something. You claimed your powers were gone, but Wonder Woman, whose powers are magically based as well, reported no such affects. Even greater proof was your attitude during the incident," he explains.

"My attitude?" she asks.

"You claimed your powers were gone. I've seen many people who posses superhuman abilities. I've also seen many people loose their superhuman abilities, and they never take it well," he answers, "Even the best of them worry and feel powerless. You mean to tell me that loosing your magic, something as precious to you as your own soul, no matter for how long, would have no affect on you?" he turns back to her, "And that look on your face, is the last clue I need."

Zatanna smiles, "Guess thats why the call you the world's greatest detective," she says.

"I'll asks again, why?" he asks.

Zatanna shrugs, "I really was trying to help. You were hurting, after Selina left. Most people didn't see it, they thought you were just being your usual grumpy self. But I could see it, and worse it looked like it was keeping you from anyone else. So I casted the spell. I had it bring Catwoman, in case you two could patch things up. I also brought Wonder Woman, in case your heart had moved on," she explains.

"And Black Canary?" he asks.

"I like Green Arrow, I think he is a great hero and a good guy, but not a good boyfriend. You know about Speedy? He's not just his sidekick, he's **one** of his illegitimate children. The man is a womanizer, he is what you pretend to be," she explains, "I wanted to show Dinah that there are better guys out there."

"And of course you came along to keep an eye on everything," Batman states.

Zatanna looks at her feet, "Is it so wrong to hope that you'd choose the old flame?" she asks.

Batman's expression falters, "Zatanna I...," he begins.

Zatanna smiles, shakes her head, and waves his words away, "Don't take it like that. My fantasies were erotic, not romantic I assure you. It's been awhile for me as well," she tells him. "I really sorry Bruce. If I knew Diana was, you know, I never would have done it."

Batman nods, "Alright, just this once I'll let it go," he says.

"I really am sorry. If it can help, I know this memory erasing spell," she offers.

"NO! No, thats alright. Just please don't do it again," he asks, then leaves the room.

He only makes it a few steps down the hall before Green Arrow comes dashing around the corner shouting, "Batman! Batman wait!"

The Batman takes a deep calming breath, then turns to face him, "Yes Arrow?" he asks.

Green Arrow catches his breath for a few seconds, "I need your help. I've asked every other guy I can find, but none of them could help!" he explains.

"Okay Ollie, calm down, I'll help you if I can," Batman assures him.

"Canary came up to me a few minutes ago. She had a really **HOT** idea, and she wanted me to meet her in her room in less than an hour," he continues.

"Okay, why do you need help then?" Batman asks, confused.

"I tried asking everyone else, but no one can help me! Please! Please tell me you know where I can get some multicolored body paint!"

_The End. Tell me what you think!_


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